The following is a spiritual question from a student followed by shakti’s reply in red.
student’s question:

Hi, i am a student of an international college of esthetics in burnaby and as i am going into my course i have been introduced to the chakras and energy healing in a workshop that took place in my college which was so impressing for me as a first experience but later on as a muslim i started getting interested in understanding the back meaning of yoga, reiki, aura and etc to veify if i m not practicing something against islam and i got so confused when i found that each chakra had its god or goddest behind it which is totally throwing me off as i like to upgrade my skills to healing skill services for the seek of my potential clients but i totally refuse to get into any practice that promotes a belief that is against islam in which i m not convainced and i would never be able to do so however i like the aspect of the peace of mind healing strategies and that is why i m looking into getting a sincere honest answer as i m also considering taking more healing workshops if it happens that there is no echue related to my question

thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my question

shakti’s response:
Dear MOUNA

Yoga is a universal art and science that enables you to see reality as it is without drawing you to or indicating any specific reality. It gives us tools to live a healthy holistic life so that is easier to find internal peace. When the body is clean, healthy and in ease it reduces the fluctuations of the mind and the emotions and moves us into stillness.

Because the wisdom of yoga is a universal one, it can not be tied to any religion or belief. As yoga came from India it developed along side the Hindu culture and religion. It is true that some people unite the science of yoga with Hinduism, but this is a choice that one makes. I myself have practiced yoga since I was 14 years old without any religious connotation.

The chakras are energy centers that will vibrate in your body no matter what belief you have. The same is with your hands; if you learn to generate healing energy from your hands you will be able to do it no matter who is your God. It is the individual’s choice to dedicate this healing energy to a specific God or set of beliefs, but the energy and the intent to heal exist on their own.

So from now own, either, find a yoga teacher that teaches the science of yoga with no religious affiliation or, when you hear religious comments interlacing with the wisdom of yoga be selective of what you take in and what you leave behind.

Lastly, the meaning of the word yoga in Sanskrit is union. If yoga wisdom belongs to one religion and leaves other beliefs outside of its practice it is not a union anymore it is a separation.

Sincerely
shakti

The following is shakti’s response to the previously posted question on feeling misplaced. Both the student’s question and shakti’s answer are below, with shakti’s words in red.

Spiritual Question: Dear Shakti, I was raised in a religious home, and although I am not religious any longer (and neither are my parents, they left their church after many decades), I occasionally find myself in mourning for a place of spiritual worship. I am mostly okay with the knowledge that ‘place’ is not so important. But I am constantly reminded that I a human being on the physical plane and ultimately, I do not want to feel so isolated from other humans.

Ten years ago I felt compelled to try yoga. I didn’t practice yoga for a further 5 years. Yes, I tried to avoid what I wanted to happen for 5 years!

I began when my life partner began. I bought both of us passes to a studio. Now, his practice flourishes; mine has dried up. We have a yoga room at home, he very gently asks me to practice every day. Instead, I read and write and take baths. He is not pushy, but is confused why I avoid it. As am I!

I feel very much like a conflicted person. I am scared. I feel shy in a studio because I can’t help but weep during asanas. All of my teachers have been very compassionate and kind, but I still feel very vulnerable and scared.

Intellectually and emotionally, I know that my own spiritual practice keeps evolving at the pace it is meant to evolve at. I try to be compassionate with myself. I can’t understand why I have made countless ‘moves’ to help others on their spiritual path, and still feel like I’m not deserving of the same help.

Perhaps I sound arrogant and pompous, but I feel misplaced. I actually feel very misplaced on the physical plane, and no matter how I go about trying to reconcile myself with it, I only really feel at home when I am asleep and lost in a world of dreams.

Any words you have that may help me overcome my fear of letting go and taking my partner’s hand would be appreciated. It’s hard being human.

Much Love

shakti’s response is below in red.

Dear Chris,

you wrote: Perhaps I sound arrogant and pompous, but I feel misplaced. I actually feel very misplaced on the physical plane, and no matter how I go about trying to reconcile myself with it, I only really feel at home when I am asleep and lost in a world of dreams.

shakti wrote: Feeling misplaced, confused, lost and overwhelmed by existence is very common to people who are sensitive, with elevated awareness.
Unlike most of the living creatures on planet earth we are entities that are aware of our death not only when we face it but actually all the time consciously or subconsciously. The knowledge that we are perishable eliminates the absolute from everything.

• What is the point of eating if we are going to die?
• What is the point to grow and evolve if we are so temporary?
• Why invest in love if everything has an end to it? Etc, Etc,

This is where we start living with confusion, fear, doubt, indifference, and desperation. Why do people keep themselves constantly busy mostly with things that are nonsense? So they don’t have any space to deal with their fears of being disposable.

The most extreme example of taking the mind away from the fact that we are temporary by keeping constantly busy; is the obsessive compulsive disorder whereby people keep themselves constantly occupied with arranging objects in space to avoid facing their feelings of being overwhelmed of existence.

The difference between you and most people is that you are aware of your desperation and unease. At least there is awareness involved in your situation. Most people are completely numb.

Religions effectively fill this empty space where confusion, doubts and fears about existence dwell, with their own substance and loaded content to bring ease to peoples’ hearts so they will keep functioning and fulfilling their role in the community. Otherwise we could end up with a massive communal suicide brought on by the realization that there is no point.

The reason why you are compelled to practice yoga and yet resist it; is because you know the practice can open a hidden gate to an unknown existence that you are not sure you will be able to handle.

The unknown is not less scary then the known which makes you feel trapped.

The reason why people cry in yoga classes is because the asanas break the bondage between the small self and the higher self and if you are not yet familiar with your higher self all you are left is with the fragile small self that will very soon become ashes. The crying is the grief of the coming death of the small self.

So up to here is the diagnosis, now for the panacea.

All of what was described above; the feelings, the emotions, the fears, the questions and the doubts, even though they feel very real, actually have nothing to do with existence as it is. They have to do with the way we perceive reality. That means that if you open your eyes and see what is in front of you, without letting your mind interpret it, you will discover very different moments then what you have experienced up to now.

For example:

you wrote: He very gently asks me to practice every day. Instead, I read and write and take baths. He is not pushy, but is confused why I avoid it. As am I!
shakti wrote:
You perceive reading, writing and taking baths as outside of the spiritual practice and doing the asanas, the REAL practice. If you sit in the bath and you are completely aware of the sensation of the water on your skin, the way your body floats in the water, the sound of the water as you move in the bath, the sound of your breath as you lay in stillness. If you watch mindfully the drops coming out from the tap creating circles in the water, if you are aware of all of it you are not doing any less a spiritual practice then your partner in the yoga room.

I suggest you to drop living life and instead live and experience moments. Life as an infinite fabric of space and time is an illusion, all we have is infinite moments. If you become completely immersed these infinite moments, you won’t have space for doubts and fears.

you wrote: I only really feel at home when I am asleep and lost in a world of dreams.

shakti wrote: The reason is that you never experienced ‘waking up’. Tomorrow morning when you get up instead of going into your head and trying to grasp existence through your mind, lie in bed and enjoy breathing. Do you know how amazing is to be able to breathe without fighting for your breath? Then get up slowly and enjoy your shower or bath. Mindfully sit and have you breakfast; you may find it is the first time that you are actually having breakfast.
Go and buy some flowers for you house, mindfully place them in a vase and take a few moments to sit and enjoy them. Talk to your partner and be fully present. Listen to his words, watch his body when he expresses himself to you. This is not easy as the mind often takes over, stopping us from experiencing life and instead sucks us in the process of trying to make sense of everything.

As for your conflict about the practice of the asanas I suggest you practice ONLY one asana a day. Choose the one you like and stay in it as long as it feels good. Watch the energy, watch the sensation, immerse yourself into only one posture knowing there is nowhere to go after this posture. This is your moment, so be it.

Only one asana a day. Relate to it as a date with your body breath and mind. Take it seriously, like you are doing a whole class.

And then after you are done with your ultimate one asana if you feel to do one or 2 more go for it, and if not, it is perfect as it is as one asana done mindfuly is like doing all the asanas!

love shakti

The following is a question from a student on finding a spiritual home and feeling misplaced. shakti’s reply is here.

you wrote:

Dear Shakti, I was raised in a religious home, and although I am not religious any longer (and neither are my parents, they left their church after many decades), I occasionally find myself in mourning for a place of spiritual worship. I am mostly okay with the knowledge that ‘place’ is not so important. But I am constantly reminded that I a human being on the physical plane and ultimately, I do not want to feel so isolated from other humans.

Ten years ago I felt compelled to try yoga. I didn’t practice yoga for a further 5 years. Yes, I tried to avoid what I wanted to happen for 5 years!

I began when my life partner began. I bought both of us passes to a studio.Now, his practice flourishes; mine has dried up. We have a yoga room at home, he very gently asks me to practice every day. Instead, I read and write and take baths. He is not pushy, but is confused why I avoid it. As am I!

I feel very much like a conflicted person. I am scared. I feel shy in a studio because I can’t help but weep during asanas. All of my teachers have been very compassionate and kind, but I still feel very vulnerable and scared.

Intellectually and emotionally, I know that my own spiritual practice keeps evolving at the pace it is meant to evolve at. I try to be compassionate with myself. I can’t understand why I have made countless ‘moves’ to help others on their spiritual path, and still feel like I’m not deserving of the same help.

Perhaps I sound arrogant and pompous, but I feel misplaced. I actually feel very misplaced on the physical plane, and no matter how I go about trying to reconcile myself with it, I only really feel at home when I am asleep and lost in a world of dreams.

Any words you have that may help me overcome my fear of letting go and taking my partner’s hand would be appreciated. It’s hard being human.

Much Love

shakti’s reply is here.

Dear shakti,

I was speaking to a close friend, and the question came up; isn’t self-improvement, in some ways selfish. My friend is very accomplished, and maybe he feels like it’s time to ‘give back’. But this left me feeling confused, what if self-improvement is actually self-realization - is it then not ’selfish’ and therefore helping the greater good of humanity? Does his self-improvement feel selfish because it is perhaps tied to his ego and not to the openess to some other power that inspires creation and accomplishment, which is not really ours to begin with…Does this mean that I shouldn’t learn guitar because I should be trying to help others? How do I know if what I’m doing (even this idea of self-realization of becoming one with everything) is ’selfish’? Thank you shakti, any response would be much appreciated.

shakti’s response is below in red.

shakti wrote:

Do not mix up self-improvement with self-realization. Self-improvement means you are upgrading the self to a better self (better from the self’s point of view not from an absolute point of view as there is no such a thing)

In self-realization you don’t become better from what you were - you are transformed to another self, the higher self, that contains your old small self and all the other selves that exist within you and outside of you.

Self-improvement is when the caterpillar becomes a better caterpillar, maybe faster or fatter or bigger or more beautiful. Self- realization is when the caterpillar is transformed to a butterfly.

All our actions arise from being selfish, from having a cheesecake to satisfy our sweet tooth, to reaching out for realization to free ourselves from suffering.

The definition in the dictionary for selfish is “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.”

Now you are going to jump to the ceiling…

Our dearest mother Theresa was one of the most selfish people of all.

She fits perfectly with the above definition.

She devoted her life to fulfilling ‘her deep desire’ to help people in need.
She was ‘concerned primarily with her interest’ to feed the poor
She received ‘benefits’ from hugging those that were unloved.
And she did it ‘regardless’ of others’ opinion and ideas of how one should conduct their life.

It is very semantic to think there is a selfish and non-selfish state.

So what makes Mother Teresa so outstanding as a human being as well as Jesus or Buddha?

Their selfishness arose from a state of oneness; not from being separate from everything around them.

By the way, asking the above question is very selfish thing as you wish to satisfy YOUR curiosity:)

So if your friend “feels like it’s time to ‘give back’? and he will fulfill this wish, again, he will fulfill his self’s desire, concern, interest needs etc.

You wrote: “Does his self-improvement feel selfish because it is perhaps tied to his ego….?

shakti wrote:
No he feels selfish because he falls into perceptions and concepts that are all rising from the ’separation’ experience of I am, you are.

Helping yourself is helping the universe as long as you do not see yourself as separate from the universe.

Even on the airplane you are asked in an emergency to first put the oxygen mask on your face before you help anyone else; even a small child. It sounds super selfish but it makes sense. If you do not help yourself you can not help anyone else.

You wrote: I shouldn’t learn guitar because I should be trying to help others?

shakti wrote:
Let’s play a game and see how playing a guitar can help others.

You will need to get a guitar that has been created by someone that makes a living off it.

If someone gives you the guitar as a gift you create an opportunity for some one to practice sharing.

If you take a lesson from a teacher you help someone to make a living, if a friend teaches you, you allow him to fulfill his giving nature.

And maybe one day when you play the guitar you will open someone’s heart with warm feelings that will influence her state of being. Maybe one day you will play the guitar to a child that will smile. The child is the world.

shakti

The following is a question from a student; ‘Which way should I go next’, regarding their meditation. shakti’s response is below in red.I’ve been a student at Prana for sometime now, and have been looking forward to asking you a question for the past while. Our paths don’t seem to cross at the studio, so I’m grateful for your question board here.

My question is regarding meditation. Specifically, what way should I go next?

I came on my personal meditation quite by accident, after having attended your studio as a rank beginner for perhaps a year. It was in the context of several transformative events occurring within a pretty short time.

After discussing yoga with my dad, he had shared that as a younger boy he would go bed at night and allow himself to become very relaxed, to the point of feeling like he’d “almost start floating from the bed” - a quite startling disclosure from my typically atheistic father. To me it seemed quite obvious what was happening. I thought on it for some months, then one night went to bed with my intent fixed. I closed my eyes, concentrating on my breathing and within no more than 5 or 10 minutes found myself high in the room looking down upon myself still lying in bed. Needless to say, this was a powerful experience that impacted me both personally and spiritually. But its also something I seemed to do despite myself. I never even considered any portion of what I did ‘meditation’ until a friend described it as such.

It’s been a little over two years since that time. There were several other experiences around that time as well, but shortly thereafter the more intense moments subsided. I’ve continued to explore things on my own - by meditating at home, remaining after yoga classes for some time with my own meditations, reading about various techniques, and creating more time in my life for these pursuits. The time I’ve put into meditation I have enjoyed and will continue with, but I’ve been very disappointed with any reading I’ve done regarding techniques or directions.

The books I keep finding seem to be written for people who are little more uncertain about themselves than I am, and I’m just not finding that they are offering what I’m looking for. I am VERY far from perfect, but in truth I’m pretty aware of where my challenges lie and I work on those areas in earnest each day. On the positive side of things, I’ve found Daniel’s yoga Nidra classes enormously fulfilling, and they seem to indicate to me that there might be some other avenues out there that I can pursue.

Is there anything you can suggest?

Thanks for your time.

shakti’s response is below.

You wrote: My question is regarding meditation. Specifically, what way should I go next?

shakti wrote: First let’s define meditation, as often people take its definition far away from its content for the sake of romanticism and dramaticism. Meditation means awareness. The practice of meditation is the practice of expanding our awareness until we experience reality as it is.

You wrote: It’s been a little over two years since that time. There were several other experiences around that time as well, but shortly thereafter the more intense moments subsided.

shakti wrote: So if you are aware of the smell of the grass on a rainy day, of the motion of the stars in the sky or of your breath as you lay in bed; it is all the same. The mind will evaluate the different experiences and score highly, the ones that are the most entertaining to the small self. This leads to expectations for a repetition of favorite spiritual experiences. Expectations will naturally lead to disappointment if they are not fulfilled. Trying to direct the outcome of the practice of meditation will limit the experience as one is trying to get something out of it instead of ‘being’ it.

You wrote: But I’ve been very disappointed with any reading I’ve done regarding techniques or directions.

shakti wrote: The reason for your disappointment is your expectation to find the absolute answer, truth, trick or tool that will get you ‘there’. Drop the books and move to your own experience. Observe and be. Drop all ‘aiming’ as it will just sway you away from the moment. Books are good as a start manual to assure you that you are not the only crazy one on this planet dealing with a deceiving mind. But you can not keep going forever and live off others’ experiences. People read ‘the autobiography of a yogi’ by the great yogananda and try to have the same experiences as he had. It takes braveness to take off on your own authentic spiritual journey.

You wrote: The books I keep finding seem to be written for people who are little more uncertain about themselves than I am, and I’m just not finding that they are offering what I’m looking for.

shakti wrote: The question is - are you clear on what you are looking for? Maybe by defining it precisely you will reveal it, as it is all already here and now.A Zen story tells about a seeker who traveled on his horse for many days through many countries, through mountains and valleys, to meet with a renowned master.Upon arriving at the isolated cave of the master, he got off his horse and knocked on the wooden door. The old master answered the door, asking the seeker what he wanted.

The traveler answered, ‘I am looking for realization.’

The master asked, ‘Why are you not looking for a horse?’

The man looked at him with surprise and replied irritably, ‘Why do I need to look for a horse, when I already have one?’ The master smiled softly and turned back to his cave, closing the door.

What a waste of time it is, to reach out for something when it is what you have and are already. It is not about getting realization; it is about revealing it.

I would like to share with you the response of Mary, our College Coordinator, to your email. She is a brilliant entity in an unordinary way. When I asked Mary what she thought your question was, she replied:

shakti wrote: Below are some questions that your words raised in her mind.

Mary wrote: Is she looking for a book to affirm what she knows? If the simplest instructions are good enough for Buddha, why not for her, is this ego? Is she caught up in evaluating? Does she perhaps just need to choose a way to meditate, and let it be? Would it help to tell her that she is ‘clinging’ onto the experience that she had at one point and this is one of the biggest detours on the ‘pathless path’. Possibly, it’s good to know that all is one - reading a hundred books that don’t resonate, might be what take her to a place of experiencing the moment, and this blog is just one more link in the chain. Well, all of these questions are a projection of my own confusion, but possibly it reflects what would be helpful to answer for her?

love, shakti

Becoming the Observer

A comment on “Letting go of your need”, with shakti’s response below in red.

How do we do this shakti? I understand it on an intellectual level, but HOW do you get beyond? With our practise? With our meditation?

I have situations in my life where I would love to rise about the habit patterns of my mind, but find it very difficult to not “feel” - what makes you get to the point where you are not “feeling” the emotion? I don’t seem to be able to just tell myself “stop” - as it is a physical sensation!

How do we do this shakti?

shakti -
By not doing. You see, most of the time we think that change will take place by doing something different then what we are currently doing. On the spiritual dimension things work a bit differently. It is not the doing, it is the observation of the actions, feelings and thoughts that need to be developed and then the perception of all of it needs to be modified.

I have situations in my life where I would love to rise about the habit patterns of my mind, but find it very difficult to not “feel” - what makes you get to the point where you are not “feeling” the emotion?

shakti -
You always will feel the emotions, but not you. It is your mind, your body, your cells that are feeling. The feelings you are talking about are rising and dissolving in the physical body, in the cells in the brain. As they come and go they change the cells’ structure, the nervous system as well as your appearance and immune system. This is why it is felt as
‘physical sensation!’ because that is what it is.
The question is, who or what is the observer,that is observing it as a
‘physical sensation!’ If you were the physical or the sensation you wouldn’t observe it, you would simply be it. Can you see it? Do you get it? Your power is by watching, you are watching it; you are not it.
It is easy to experience it while watching a movie. You may ‘feel’ emotion for the character on the screen, she is in danger. You deeply feel for her. Will you jump to the screen and save her or will you STOP yourself because you are aware that you are the observer. You are still feeling the emotions in your body; you may cry of sadness or feel your stomach if you are afraid but you will probably keep eating your popcorn.

I don’t seem to be able to just tell myself “stop” - as it is a physical sensation!

shakti -
This shows you that there are moments in life where you are feeling deeply, and yet, without stopping the feelings you still make a choice of your actions.

So now let’s convert the above spiritual blarb to practical living-understanding and hopefully living-experience.

Let’s say you feel angry. (Feel free to replace anger with any other emotions you are in favor of). Most people, when their anger rises in their mind and their body it takes over and consumes the observer. As a consequence what left is pure emotion-in-action which leads us to reaction, (the most undesirable state in spirituality). This is equal to feeling angry in the theater and jumping to the screen to punch the bad character.

Sooooo the bridge to the observer is often a good deep breath, by doing so, you are awakening the observer. Being ‘outside’ of the emotion you have the time to change your perception about the moment (My anger is not because of him it is because I am in fear etc.) as well, you have the choice of how and to where to direct this energy.

First you start by doing it in your sitting meditation. You are still and quiet and yet you may feel angry about last night’s conversation with your partner. You feel it in your stomach, in your facial muscles. It is obvious that the emotions you feel right now have nothing to do with reality as it is; as you are sitting in meditation but still feel irrelevant feelings to the moment. In the time of meditation we develop our observer ‘muscles’ so that later on, in daily moments, the observer is strong enough to stay outside of the feelings and the emotions. Only in this state will you make the right choices in each moment. Otherwise if there is no connection with the observer you will move on reaction to the other, exhausting all your energy sources, becoming drained and feeling hopeless.

You can do it.

When you become the observer you become free.
You own your emotions, they do not own you.

Love shakti

Below is a question from a student with shakti’s response written below in red.

Dear shakti,

I have come to understand that my romanticism since childhood has been a desire to find love for myself, projecting an external smiling image with a handsome face and preferably a white horse, to shine a little warmth into my doubting heart.

I find that I connect easily with others, to the extent that I ‘take on’ their personalities - or find it difficult to create boundaries, to know what is right for me because I feel so strongly what is right for them.

There has been one person in my life, who I have continued to feel connected to, in a way that feels both beautiful, and needy, because this person does draw boundaries.

I have often thought of him as ‘the love of my life’ because of this deep, psychic connection - he understands me very deeply. Yet, I would like to let go of him, because I fear the neediness I feel toward him, and I have moved on in my life and love relationships. I wonder, if he is my soul mate, that I am not ready to love yet unconditionally, or if I just have created such deep ’sankaras’ or ’samskaras’, because of the drama of this first love.

The following is shakti’s response:

Dear Tara,

Namaste, shakti

Below is a question and response between shakti and a student. shakti’s response is below in red.

Sarah: Thank you for your reply, shakti. It put some clarity and insight into thoughts and feelings I’ve had on the subject of external love.

As someone on the path to inner freedom, I find that the more self-aware I become, the more aware of the external I become as well, and this has become frightening recently, as I FEEL not only my pain and longing, but that of the wider world. How does one be aware, open and emanate true compassion within and without but not “take on” the pains of the world?

The reason I have felt the “need” for a lover, is because of social conditioning. That symbol is everywhere, and I naturally merge with my environment in an effort to connect. Although I feel separate from everything and one, I feel a great connection to it as well. Humans are especially hard for me to be around with pure awareness right now, because their pain is so great–as they so identify with suffering as a way of life!

Again, that split self steps in, and a part of me gets it and identifies too, while that higher self says: “That’s silly. That’s not where it’s at. Truth of Being lies in constant unconditional love.” But, man, that’s a HARD one to stomach for me–literally! Why?

Again…it all comes back to the idea of finding love and that the “love” is supposed to come from a place of other, rather than an internal union. This triggers a deep inner loneliness within. I think, “What if I never find someone to connect with really and truly and deeply but myself?” The other part replies: “Good. Then you will feel fulfilled always and it will not matter.”

That 1st part retorts: “But what will others think? Won’t I appear as different or weird? Won’t I feel disconnected from family, friends and other humans?”

The other side responds: “No more than you already feel. Isn’t the loneliness you feel stemming from a lack of connection within your own divine Self?”..”Yes, but…” is all that small self can say.

It feels like a head and a heart trip right now. They are in battle for the same thing. I don’t get it.

And then I feel this sadness for humanity, because I know everyone is struggling… perhaps even greater than I and without knowing they are doing so. That saddens me. I just want to weep for this longing to love. and to keep loving. But that little self says: “Will anyone care (including my own self)?”

shakti: Hello again,

And now for your concerns,

Sarah: As someone on the path to inner freedom, I find that the more self-aware I become, the more aware of the external I become as well, and this has become frightening recently, as I FEEL not only my pain and longing, but that of the wider world.

shakti: What you feel is exactly what it is but we need to remove the dust from the observations you have. There is no external or internal, as it is all the same. The existence of the body is what gives us the illusion of the outside and inside of us. The ‘wider world’ is you. The reason why you are now starting to feel the ‘wider world’s’ pain is because your perception is widening and your physical body doesn’t stop you anymore from experiencing the ‘outside’ as you experience yourself.

Sarah: How does one be aware, open and emanate true compassion within and without but not “take on” the pains of the world?

shakti: By becoming the ultimate observer.

Compassion doesn’t mean feeling sorry or sad for others. Compassion means you do not judge. When you see an act you can see the perfect circumstances this action arose from. For this kind of observation you need to move beyond the limited mind and see reality as it is in each moment. You never take on others’ pain. What we mean by saying that is that others’ pain reflects our own pain. This is why it feels so painful and heavy. At the end of the day it is all about us. When you move beyond the small self and become the observer, you do what has to be done and you accept what can not be changed. How do you know when is what? By being fully in the moment.

Sarah: The reason I have felt the “need” for a lover, is because of social conditioning. That symbol is everywhere, and I naturally merge with my environment in an effort to connect.

shakti: Remember there is nothing wrong with having a lover. We are living in a material world where the physical body is a part of it, just as are flowers, crystals, and tea pots. It is great to be playful and joyful with the treasures of material as long as we don’t create attachments towards them and a need for them( for the tea pot, for the lover and for everything in between) .

If making love is the manifestation of a high frequency connection, that arises beyond needs and attachment, it becomes a blissful dance. If it arises from fears or lack, it consumes you alive.

Sarah: Although I feel separate from everything and one, I feel a great connection to it as well. Humans are especially hard for me to be around with pure awareness right now, because their pain is so great–as they so identify with suffering as a way of life!

shakti: Whenever you have the choice, be selective with whom you spend time and energy. Though you may feel one with everyone, this doesn’t mean that you need to spend time with every one. As you become more aware of energies’ frequencies, you become more choosy with companions and environments.

Sarah: Again, that split self steps in, and a part of me gets it and identifies too, while that higher self says: “That’s silly. That’s not where it’s at. Truth of Being lies in constant unconditional love.” But, man, that’s a HARD one to stomach for me–literally! Why?

shakti: Maybe because you pour all kinds of unnecessary meanings into the unconditional love’s bucket, like; I must like everything and everybody, I need to accept all behaviors and take non sense from others because we are one etc. Unconditional love means you do not put conditions on loving that suit your lower self. The feeling of loving doesn’t change, it is constant but within it you can still say goodbye to a boyfriend that you may not like to be with anymore. You don’t stop loving him but you may stop seeing him.

Sarah: Again…it all comes back to the idea of finding love and that the “love” is supposed to come from a place of other, rather than an internal union. This triggers a deep inner loneliness within. I think, “What if I never find someone to connect with really and truly and deeply but myself?” The other part replies: “Good. Then you will feel fulfilled always and it will not matter.”
That 1st part retorts: “But what will others think? Won’t I appear as different or weird?

shakti: They will think you are weird as from their perception you are probably already weird. Don’t forget that in the same breath, as your consciousness expands, you will be striving less and less for other’s recognitions and acknowledgment, so the above fear becomes irrelevant. You may even get to a point that you will find it as a compliment when somebody perceives you as ‘different’.

Sarah: Won’t I feel disconnected from family, friends and other humans?”

shakti: You may feel even more connected as you will observe how you all simply fill up roles and there is nothing really absolute in it (father, sister, mother grandpa,). You may observe how at the end of the day everyone is fragile, feeling lonely, reaching out for love, and having the illusion that somebody or something outside themselves can fulfill this inner loneliness.

Sarah: Isn’t the loneliness you feel stemming from a lack of connection within your own divine Self?”

shakti: The lack of connection is not within the divine self, it is to the divine self. As a result, we feel disconnected from everything around us. Loneliness stems from this state of separation. Recall how many times you were in a ‘deep’, ‘close’, or ‘intimate’ connection with a loved one and yet you still experienced moments of deep loneliness. So loneliness is not as we often think, a state in relation to others; it is in relation to our higher self but we look to fulfill it in the wrong places. This is why we keep stumbling into pain and disappointment again and again and again.

Sarah: It feels like a head and a heart trip right now. They are in battle for the same thing. I don’t get it.

shakti: Maybe they are reaching out for the same thing and you perceive it as a battle. That they are opposites doesn’t mean they can not unite.

Are the day and the night clashing? No, they create a beautiful dawn. Are the rain and the sun in battle? No, they create a staggering rainbow.

Sarah: And then I feel this sadness for humanity, because I know everyone is struggling… perhaps even greater than I and without knowing they are doing so. That saddens me. I just want to weep for this longing to love.

shakti: Instead of joining the crowd of sufferers you can bring joy and laughter to the people in your present moment. Embrace the world around you with your lightness. Start with the one that you stopped loving because they didn’t serve your expectations anymore and continue with the frustrated cashier in the supermarket by truly seeing her.

Sarah: and to keep loving.
But that little self says: “Will anyone care (including my own self)?”

shakti: That is an example of conditional love. If nobody cares or acknowledges it what is the point of loving? Does the tree stop creating shade because no one cares? Does the flower stop spreading its fragrance because nobody acknowledges it? What the flower can do, so can you, as you are the jewel in the heart of the lotus.

Love
shakti

Below is a question and answer response on ‘finding love’. Scroll down for shakti’s response in red.

Namaste, shakti,

This is a subject that I am still learning about. When does one come to that place of ‘finding love’ in other? The more I delve into my own yoga practice, the less I feel the ‘need’ for intimate connection with other. I feel physical need/desire that stems from a biological and primal urge to have union with a lover, but emotionally I don’t feel I really ‘need’ it. I have an ex-boyfriend, whom fits with the ‘business of love’ description’ you wrote about. I still feel a yearning to connect with him, but a deep hatred for him as well, because he never fully satisfied my needs and desires. Basically, our love was conditional, though we still communicate and have some kind of connection. I know there is a deep love there between usâ?¦ but it is truly masked by egoâ?? for both of us.

I have been exploring lately, when I feel the need for intimacy from a lover, going into meditation instead. Then, my desires fade, and I feel connected. I guess I’m just in a space (and philosophically I have been exploring this for years) where I feel there is no need for an external lover. BUTâ?¦I am desiring oneâ?¦

I want to feel fulfilled and unconditionally accepting of my Self first, before such a relationship comes into my life. And I am, more and more. In fact, I am fulfilled right now, I just feel forgetful at times, because of the noise of the outside world.
I feel my thoughts are going in circles on this, but hopefully the heart of my point is coming through.

shakti’s response is in red below:

Sarah: This is a subject that I am still learning about. When does one come to that place of ‘finding love’ in other?

shakti: When you find love in yourself. And these are not just words. It is when we don’t find love in ourselves that we reach out to get the supply from others. This is when we become demanding as love is oxygen and if your breath is depending on somebody else potentially he/she holds power over you. This is why so often, tension is involved in a love relationship. It is because of the dependency we create so quickly on each other. In your sub conscience you know you are not free.

Sarah: The more I delve into my own yoga practice, the less I feel the ‘need’ for intimate connection with other. I feel physical need/desire that stems from a biological and primal urge to have union with a lover, but emotionally I don’t feel I really ‘need’ it.

shakti: This is because, in your essence you do not need it, yet you can still choose to manifest intimacy. However, if you come with no need your heart will be fully open as you will have nothing to lose. The need for intimacy comes as you said, from our state of survival. Once you rise above the need to survive you find yourself intimate with everything around you, from the light to the breeze to the bees that are flirting with the flowers. Intimacy that rises beyond our programming has nothing to do with getting something from the other but more with sharing, connecting with ourselves throughout our infinite reflections.

Sarah: I have an ex-boyfriend, whom fits with the ‘business of love’ description’ you wrote about. I still feel a yearning to connect with him, but a deep hatred for him as well, because he never fully satisfied my needs and desires.

He she needs to be:

Attractive but only to us.
Funny, as well as serious
Deep yet light
Close to us but give us space when we need it
Confident but gentle
Very passionate but only to us
Very loyal but not too jealous

And most importantly, he or she must be crazy about us although we ourselves need not have any of the above qualities.

The difference is that in the store of conditional love the currency for purchasing is your freedom.

If you NEED to be fulfilled by others you sell your freedom for this ‘fulfillment’. You will either always be frustrated as your expectations are not fulfilled or if they are fulfilled, you will be afraid that it may be taken away from you.

Sarah: Basically, our love was conditional, though we still communicate and have some kind of connection.

shakti: The connection is of 2 addicts that are, at the same time, drug dealers for each other.

Sarah: I have been exploring lately, when I feel the need for intimacy from a lover, going into meditation instead. Then, my desires fade, and I feel connected.

shakti: As long as meditation doesn’t become an escape it is great. It is clear that you already have a powerful ability for honest self observation. This is essential on the path of becoming free. The next step is implementing the changes you want to see with no excuses.

Sarah: I guess I’m just in a space (and philosophically I have been exploring this for years) where I feel there is no need for an external lover. BUT “I am desiring one?”

shakti: Often it takes time for the small self that operates from survival programming, to catch up with the higher self beyond mind and concepts. This may create a sense of having a split personality. It is very common on the path of spirituality.

Sarah: I want to feel fulfilled and unconditionally accepting of my Self first, before such a relationship comes into my life. And I am, more and more. In fact, I am fulfilled right now, I just feel forgetful at times, because of the noise of the outside world.

shakti: This is why it is important to be still for a period of time every day. Sit and observe your feelings, needs and desires with out judging. Do it with the same compassion with which you would observe a small child screaming that he wants more candies after he just finished a whole package. Only when you have the compassion for your small self and love for your higher self, will you forever love your ex boyfriend. After all, outside of your ‘expectations box’ he is perfect as he is.

Sarah: I feel my thoughts are going in circles on this, but hopefully the heart of my point is coming through.

I do sense lots of depth in you. Keep the practice of being aware and do not compromise in living in pain.

Question from reader:

Should a teacher (Guru, Swami, Master) charge his disciples a fee for the spiritual teachings that he/she teaches? Isn’t this in conflict with Aparigraha (non-possession)? I am not saying about the cost of books, room rentals, mailing, etc. I am saying about fees charged on top of all these normal expenses. (They say: “The truth will set you free”, but they charge the followers for the privilege).

shakti’s response:

You ask, ‘Isn’t this in conflict with Aparigraha (non-possession)?’

If you are practicing Aparigraha (non-possession) as an absolute concept, then you may be right, if a teacher charges money for his teaching you can see it as possessing BUT in the same breath you as a student are now possessing the knowledge, the dharma, the teaching as well as, potentially, even realization itself. Since possession is possession, no matter what, which one is more ‘right’ ?

Conflicts arise when we try to have a black and white approach; opinions, solutions, expectations etc.

Teaching is an exchange, like everything else in existence; breathing, eating, loving. You receive knowledge; you return love, energy, and support. So holding back on your own money at the time of a teaching exchange is not less of a possession then receiving the money for giving the teaching.

In the old days students/disciples/followers used to make sure that their teachers were being taken care of. They took care of their food, shelter and other needs. Often in the past and still to this day it even reached to the extreme, when disciples actually gave everything they had to the ashram that belonged to the teacher. Depending on the location and circumstances, teachers were sponsored by an entire village or even a king with all of their needs taken care of as a way of showing gratitude and to make sure that the teacher was free to simply be, practice and share valuable knowledge with others.

The tradition of disciples or students supporting their students is slowly disappearing as the world becomes faster paced, materialistic and overwhelming for most people. As a result, everyone is now looking after themselves, trying to do their best to survive.

So teaching becomes part of the everyday business world.

How can one see a teacher making a living in this materialistic world when the main source for food is the nearest supermarket and the possibility of finding a cave for free accommodation is zero?

How can one expect a full time teacher to make a living in this world with no money?

As a nourished students, where is one’s concern for the one that nourishes them?

As I said earlier, everything in life has two sides. A spiritual teacher doesn’t invent his teaching. The teaching is universal, always was and always will be. Teachers are just a vehicle for the teaching. This is why they cannot hold onto it, or own it, or manipulate it. I agree that money should never be a reason for the teaching; it should flow to where it is needed. I agree that sometimes teachers may take advantage of their status like everyone else.

On the other side, as a teacher I can see how often people will not hesitate to spend a fortune on a new sofa or a car or even a fancy meal in a restaurant but when it comes to spiritual teaching they expect it to be give away for free.

I remember an example from a few years ago when one of my students was complaining that she didn’t have the funds to come and join me on a meditation retreat which was really important to her. Even though the retreat was sold on a cost only basis, I agreed to have her join us for free.

2 weeks after the course I received a postcard from her saying how much she had enjoyed the retreat. The postcard was written from the Caribbean cruise she was on.

If there are excess funds available they can be used wisely and meaningfully. Odds are, a person with a higher consciousness will spend their excess funds more conscientiously which is why it is so important for spiritual people to master the art of manifesting the material world so they can turn around and create powerful change in the world around them.

I myself as a teacher prefer to be on the provider, rather than the needy side and one of the ways to get there is to charge for my services.

For further understanding of my response to you, you may want to read ‘Money and Spirituality’ which has been posted on this blog site.

Namaste,

shakti