Samsara in the Art Gallery—from Monet to Dali

From Monet to Dali is a great exhibition in the Vancouver art gallery that exhibits the pain of humanity in the most extraordinary artist’s touch of brash. As you walk in the gallery’s foyers being stared at by the framed portraits, you won’t find even one portrait that reflects joy. The extraordinary portraits emanate sadness, emptiness, despair and the sense of being lost, often with the 18^th century custom of a polite and appropriate manner.

The portraits are not only real in their outlines; they are real in the emotions they share with you. As you look carefully into the faces and deep into their eyes you can recognize your own moments in which you are carried by the momentum of life, not knowing why what you feel, is so painful or empty. The exhibition is a great reflection of the rooted belief and expression of Westerners, that life must be painful.

In ‘Dessert after Dinner’ by Pier Bonnard you can hear the silence of lovers that realize each for her or himself that the love they rely so much on, as a panacea, doesn’t fill up the inner hidden cracks they carry within them.

All the words have been used up; all the touches have been replaced with the self contemplation of what’s next? If love didn’t work out what is left to hope for?

In ‘Life’ by Picasso you can see the western interpretation of the yogi and Buddhist concept; samsara, the cycle of life and death that is coated with suffering

 

Look at the eyes of the lady of Edmond Francois. They are dead as there is nobody home. What the chair is embracing, is, an external prettiness and appropriate manner with no emanation of prana or life force.

 

Watch the deep pain in Rodin’s ‘Heroic Head’
 
One of the dictionary definitions for hero in Classical Mythology is:
“A being of godlike prowess and beneficence who often came to be honored as a divinity.”
 
So even divinity illuminates in the beam of suffering; part of the essence of our existence. Rodin’s thinker definitely doesn’t think about joy because joy is a state not a thought.

Modigliani turned pain into a delicate make up shade that made women utterly beautiful.
The pain is obvious; the joy is to be discovered.

 

I was standing in front of this incredible painting by James Tissot, name ‘Juillet’ for almost half an hour, fascinated by the detailed work of the fabric. 

Isn’t she familiar to us? The woman with all the possible comfort that life can offer, and still, she feels empty, unsatisfied and uncontented.

Below is a question from a student with shakti’s response written below in red.

Dear shakti,

I have come to understand that my romanticism since childhood has been a desire to find love for myself, projecting an external smiling image with a handsome face and preferably a white horse, to shine a little warmth into my doubting heart.

I find that I connect easily with others, to the extent that I ‘take on’ their personalities – or find it difficult to create boundaries, to know what is right for me because I feel so strongly what is right for them.

There has been one person in my life, who I have continued to feel connected to, in a way that feels both beautiful, and needy, because this person does draw boundaries.

I have often thought of him as ‘the love of my life’ because of this deep, psychic connection – he understands me very deeply. Yet, I would like to let go of him, because I fear the neediness I feel toward him, and I have moved on in my life and love relationships. I wonder, if he is my soul mate, that I am not ready to love yet unconditionally, or if I just have created such deep ’sankaras’ or ’samskaras’, because of the drama of this first love.

The following is shakti’s response:

Dear Tara,

By letting go of your love subject you are not letting go of your need. You will simply transfer the need to your next love subject. If you are an alcoholic, by removing all alcoholic substances from the area you won’t cut off your need to consume alcohol. It may give some relief for a while and the illusion that you’ve stopped drinking but the need is still there and you are in constant danger of going back to drinking. The change must come from within. You may project your neediness onto this person but by letting him go you do not really cut off the source of the problem; that lies in your own programming. Often relationships are a great mirror for us to check where we are in our spiritual practice.

There is no other way to love but unconditionally, otherwise it is not love, it is the business of love. Rise above ’sankaras’ and samskaras’ (tendencies inherited from previous births which form a person’s propensities in this life). Do not let any excuse or reasoning stop you from reaching absolute freedom as a being. Love is never the reason for drama, the mind and the ego are. This is the moment to start to observe:

Your neediness
Your attachment
Your ‘holding on’
Your fears to lose
Your manipulations

And cut them off, one by one. No, it won’t be easy and sometimes it will seem impossible because you are going against everything you have learned about love and you won’t have much support from your environment as most of the people around you would like you to stay as you are.

When you are able to love with no trace of fear, pain or neediness you will touch true bliss. It may be the first time that you taste true love and true freedom.

Namaste, shakti

Below is a question and response between shakti and a student. shakti’s response is below in red.

Sarah: Thank you for your reply, shakti. It put some clarity and insight into thoughts and feelings I’ve had on the subject of external love.

As someone on the path to inner freedom, I find that the more self-aware I become, the more aware of the external I become as well, and this has become frightening recently, as I FEEL not only my pain and longing, but that of the wider world. How does one be aware, open and emanate true compassion within and without but not “take on” the pains of the world?

The reason I have felt the “need” for a lover, is because of social conditioning. That symbol is everywhere, and I naturally merge with my environment in an effort to connect. Although I feel separate from everything and one, I feel a great connection to it as well. Humans are especially hard for me to be around with pure awareness right now, because their pain is so great–as they so identify with suffering as a way of life!

Again, that split self steps in, and a part of me gets it and identifies too, while that higher self says: “That’s silly. That’s not where it’s at. Truth of Being lies in constant unconditional love.” But, man, that’s a HARD one to stomach for me–literally! Why?

Again…it all comes back to the idea of finding love and that the “love” is supposed to come from a place of other, rather than an internal union. This triggers a deep inner loneliness within. I think, “What if I never find someone to connect with really and truly and deeply but myself?” The other part replies: “Good. Then you will feel fulfilled always and it will not matter.”

That 1st part retorts: “But what will others think? Won’t I appear as different or weird? Won’t I feel disconnected from family, friends and other humans?”

The other side responds: “No more than you already feel. Isn’t the loneliness you feel stemming from a lack of connection within your own divine Self?”..”Yes, but…” is all that small self can say.

It feels like a head and a heart trip right now. They are in battle for the same thing. I don’t get it.

And then I feel this sadness for humanity, because I know everyone is struggling… perhaps even greater than I and without knowing they are doing so. That saddens me. I just want to weep for this longing to love. and to keep loving. But that little self says: “Will anyone care (including my own self)?”

shakti: Hello again,

From reading your words it is pretty clear that you are quite deep into the dynamic of spirituality and not the new age one (thank god).

Before I reply to your detailed concerns I would like to remind you of a few points:

1. The path of spirituality can be often a tough one as one needs to break down many invisible chains of attachments and deep rooted habits as well as changing the powerful programming in the self’s hard drive.
2. As a consequence of the above, only a minority ends up on the path, moving into a wider state of perception that can not be perceived by the majority. This is why the minority spiritual seeker easily becomes an outsider and often a ‘weirder’.
3. The good news is that when you reach the level of absolute internal freedom any of the above obstacles or challenges become irrelevant. Wherever you are, becomes perfect as it is.

And now for your concerns,

Sarah: As someone on the path to inner freedom, I find that the more self-aware I become, the more aware of the external I become as well, and this has become frightening recently, as I FEEL not only my pain and longing, but that of the wider world.

shakti: What you feel is exactly what it is but we need to remove the dust from the observations you have. There is no external or internal, as it is all the same. The existence of the body is what gives us the illusion of the outside and inside of us. The ‘wider world’ is you. The reason why you are now starting to feel the ‘wider world’s’ pain is because your perception is widening and your physical body doesn’t stop you anymore from experiencing the ‘outside’ as you experience yourself.

Sarah: How does one be aware, open and emanate true compassion within and without but not “take on” the pains of the world?

shakti: By becoming the ultimate observer.

Compassion doesn’t mean feeling sorry or sad for others. Compassion means you do not judge. When you see an act you can see the perfect circumstances this action arose from. For this kind of observation you need to move beyond the limited mind and see reality as it is in each moment. You never take on others’ pain. What we mean by saying that is that others’ pain reflects our own pain. This is why it feels so painful and heavy. At the end of the day it is all about us. When you move beyond the small self and become the observer, you do what has to be done and you accept what can not be changed. How do you know when is what? By being fully in the moment.

Sarah: The reason I have felt the “need” for a lover, is because of social conditioning. That symbol is everywhere, and I naturally merge with my environment in an effort to connect.

shakti: Remember there is nothing wrong with having a lover. We are living in a material world where the physical body is a part of it, just as are flowers, crystals, and tea pots. It is great to be playful and joyful with the treasures of material as long as we don’t create attachments towards them and a need for them( for the tea pot, for the lover and for everything in between) .

If making love is the manifestation of a high frequency connection, that arises beyond needs and attachment, it becomes a blissful dance. If it arises from fears or lack, it consumes you alive.

Sarah: Although I feel separate from everything and one, I feel a great connection to it as well. Humans are especially hard for me to be around with pure awareness right now, because their pain is so great–as they so identify with suffering as a way of life!

shakti: Whenever you have the choice, be selective with whom you spend time and energy. Though you may feel one with everyone, this doesn’t mean that you need to spend time with every one. As you become more aware of energies’ frequencies, you become more choosy with companions and environments.

Sarah: Again, that split self steps in, and a part of me gets it and identifies too, while that higher self says: “That’s silly. That’s not where it’s at. Truth of Being lies in constant unconditional love.” But, man, that’s a HARD one to stomach for me–literally! Why?

shakti: Maybe because you pour all kinds of unnecessary meanings into the unconditional love’s bucket, like; I must like everything and everybody, I need to accept all behaviors and take non sense from others because we are one etc. Unconditional love means you do not put conditions on loving that suit your lower self. The feeling of loving doesn’t change, it is constant but within it you can still say goodbye to a boyfriend that you may not like to be with anymore. You don’t stop loving him but you may stop seeing him.

Sarah: Again…it all comes back to the idea of finding love and that the “love” is supposed to come from a place of other, rather than an internal union. This triggers a deep inner loneliness within. I think, “What if I never find someone to connect with really and truly and deeply but myself?” The other part replies: “Good. Then you will feel fulfilled always and it will not matter.”
That 1st part retorts: “But what will others think? Won’t I appear as different or weird?

shakti: They will think you are weird as from their perception you are probably already weird. Don’t forget that in the same breath, as your consciousness expands, you will be striving less and less for other’s recognitions and acknowledgment, so the above fear becomes irrelevant. You may even get to a point that you will find it as a compliment when somebody perceives you as ‘different’.

Sarah: Won’t I feel disconnected from family, friends and other humans?”

shakti: You may feel even more connected as you will observe how you all simply fill up roles and there is nothing really absolute in it (father, sister, mother grandpa,). You may observe how at the end of the day everyone is fragile, feeling lonely, reaching out for love, and having the illusion that somebody or something outside themselves can fulfill this inner loneliness.

Sarah: Isn’t the loneliness you feel stemming from a lack of connection within your own divine Self?”

shakti: The lack of connection is not within the divine self, it is to the divine self. As a result, we feel disconnected from everything around us. Loneliness stems from this state of separation. Recall how many times you were in a ‘deep’, ‘close’, or ‘intimate’ connection with a loved one and yet you still experienced moments of deep loneliness. So loneliness is not as we often think, a state in relation to others; it is in relation to our higher self but we look to fulfill it in the wrong places. This is why we keep stumbling into pain and disappointment again and again and again.

Sarah: It feels like a head and a heart trip right now. They are in battle for the same thing. I don’t get it.

shakti: Maybe they are reaching out for the same thing and you perceive it as a battle. That they are opposites doesn’t mean they can not unite.

Are the day and the night clashing? No, they create a beautiful dawn. Are the rain and the sun in battle? No, they create a staggering rainbow.

Sarah: And then I feel this sadness for humanity, because I know everyone is struggling… perhaps even greater than I and without knowing they are doing so. That saddens me. I just want to weep for this longing to love.

shakti: Instead of joining the crowd of sufferers you can bring joy and laughter to the people in your present moment. Embrace the world around you with your lightness. Start with the one that you stopped loving because they didn’t serve your expectations anymore and continue with the frustrated cashier in the supermarket by truly seeing her.

Sarah: and to keep loving.
But that little self says: “Will anyone care (including my own self)?”

shakti: That is an example of conditional love. If nobody cares or acknowledges it what is the point of loving? Does the tree stop creating shade because no one cares? Does the flower stop spreading its fragrance because nobody acknowledges it? What the flower can do, so can you, as you are the jewel in the heart of the lotus.

Love
shakti

Below is a question and answer response on ‘finding love’. Scroll down for shakti’s response in red.

Namaste, shakti,

This is a subject that I am still learning about. When does one come to that place of ‘finding love’ in other? The more I delve into my own yoga practice, the less I feel the ‘need’ for intimate connection with other. I feel physical need/desire that stems from a biological and primal urge to have union with a lover, but emotionally I don’t feel I really ‘need’ it. I have an ex-boyfriend, whom fits with the ‘business of love’ description’ you wrote about. I still feel a yearning to connect with him, but a deep hatred for him as well, because he never fully satisfied my needs and desires. Basically, our love was conditional, though we still communicate and have some kind of connection. I know there is a deep love there between usâ?¦ but it is truly masked by egoâ?? for both of us.

I have been exploring lately, when I feel the need for intimacy from a lover, going into meditation instead. Then, my desires fade, and I feel connected. I guess I’m just in a space (and philosophically I have been exploring this for years) where I feel there is no need for an external lover. BUTâ?¦I am desiring oneâ?¦

I want to feel fulfilled and unconditionally accepting of my Self first, before such a relationship comes into my life. And I am, more and more. In fact, I am fulfilled right now, I just feel forgetful at times, because of the noise of the outside world.
I feel my thoughts are going in circles on this, but hopefully the heart of my point is coming through.

shakti’s response is in red below:

Sarah: This is a subject that I am still learning about. When does one come to that place of ‘finding love’ in other?

shakti: When you find love in yourself. And these are not just words. It is when we don’t find love in ourselves that we reach out to get the supply from others. This is when we become demanding as love is oxygen and if your breath is depending on somebody else potentially he/she holds power over you. This is why so often, tension is involved in a love relationship. It is because of the dependency we create so quickly on each other. In your sub conscience you know you are not free.

Sarah: The more I delve into my own yoga practice, the less I feel the ‘need’ for intimate connection with other. I feel physical need/desire that stems from a biological and primal urge to have union with a lover, but emotionally I don’t feel I really ‘need’ it.

shakti: This is because, in your essence you do not need it, yet you can still choose to manifest intimacy. However, if you come with no need your heart will be fully open as you will have nothing to lose. The need for intimacy comes as you said, from our state of survival. Once you rise above the need to survive you find yourself intimate with everything around you, from the light to the breeze to the bees that are flirting with the flowers. Intimacy that rises beyond our programming has nothing to do with getting something from the other but more with sharing, connecting with ourselves throughout our infinite reflections.

Sarah: I have an ex-boyfriend, whom fits with the ‘business of love’ description’ you wrote about. I still feel a yearning to connect with him, but a deep hatred for him as well, because he never fully satisfied my needs and desires.

He she needs to be:

Attractive but only to us.
Funny, as well as serious
Deep yet light
Close to us but give us space when we need it
Confident but gentle
Very passionate but only to us
Very loyal but not too jealous

And most importantly, he or she must be crazy about us although we ourselves need not have any of the above qualities.

The difference is that in the store of conditional love the currency for purchasing is your freedom.

If you NEED to be fulfilled by others you sell your freedom for this ‘fulfillment’. You will either always be frustrated as your expectations are not fulfilled or if they are fulfilled, you will be afraid that it may be taken away from you.

 

Sarah: Basically, our love was conditional, though we still communicate and have some kind of connection.

shakti: The connection is of 2 addicts that are, at the same time, drug dealers for each other.

Sarah: I have been exploring lately, when I feel the need for intimacy from a lover, going into meditation instead. Then, my desires fade, and I feel connected.

shakti: As long as meditation doesn’t become an escape it is great. It is clear that you already have a powerful ability for honest self observation. This is essential on the path of becoming free. The next step is implementing the changes you want to see with no excuses.

Sarah: I guess I’m just in a space (and philosophically I have been exploring this for years) where I feel there is no need for an external lover. BUT “I am desiring one?”

shakti: Often it takes time for the small self that operates from survival programming, to catch up with the higher self beyond mind and concepts. This may create a sense of having a split personality. It is very common on the path of spirituality.

Sarah: I want to feel fulfilled and unconditionally accepting of my Self first, before such a relationship comes into my life. And I am, more and more. In fact, I am fulfilled right now, I just feel forgetful at times, because of the noise of the outside world.

shakti: This is why it is important to be still for a period of time every day. Sit and observe your feelings, needs and desires with out judging. Do it with the same compassion with which you would observe a small child screaming that he wants more candies after he just finished a whole package. Only when you have the compassion for your small self and love for your higher self, will you forever love your ex boyfriend. After all, outside of your ‘expectations box’ he is perfect as he is.

Sarah: I feel my thoughts are going in circles on this, but hopefully the heart of my point is coming through.

I do sense lots of depth in you. Keep the practice of being aware and do not compromise in living in pain.

What do you do, when you meet somebody you think may become a love partner?

Pop lyrics describe the surface reactions at length, but underneath it’s likely that you’ll start a checklist. You’ll want to check if s/he is going to give you what’s missing from your life.

If you are looking for stability, you will ask if s/he is going to be a rock. If you are looking for financial security, money will go onto your list. If you feel you are weak in spiritual dialogue, you will itemize his/her spiritual qualities. You will also ask, is s/he loving, strong, or weak? Or, weak enough so that you feel strong? It is often a very long checklist.

Then you will score your list by points. Your overall score will tell you whether s/he will fulfill all of your needs, to be loved, to feel secure, to belong. Whether s/he will fit with who you are (insert self description here, like educated, wild, conservative, introverted, family oriented).

When we perceive ourselves as being incomplete, we constantly look for another to complete us. In the language of love, the phrase “you complete me” is a common one.

Making your list is the first step in the business of love: preparing to barter.

The deal on the table is, “I will love you if you will provide me with all the missing parts that I need to be a complete person.”

Building your checklist starts from the first moment of meeting, and you will modify and add to it throughout the days, weeks, months-even longer-until you know either way.

Or think you do.

Maybe the candidate passes the “checklist of acceptance” stage, and is willing to barter. That is, when s/he has done a checklist on you, and you have passed.

You both move to the second stage of the contract, testing whether expectations will be fulfilled.

For example, you will test out clauses that say, “I expect you to make me:

feel safe

feel happy

feel attractive

feel important

feel like I belong

feel I am desirable

feel ……

If one of the parties fails to fulfill the other’s expectations, then pain, frustration, disappointment and anger will arise. The deal might begin to fall apart right here.

If the second stage does work (for a while, anyway) you’ll likely move up to Stage 3 of the deal. Here are the clauses that require the other to “become just like me.”

You should think like me

You should love like me

You should act like me

You should desire like me

You should dream like me

You should clean the kitchen like I do

You should be like me

The business approach to love is a process of barter: it is always conditional. Every time you draft a contract to love that’s based on your own needs, you write the conditions for potential suffering. The moment one of the signatories in the love contract does not receive their part of the bargain, the so-called “love” starts fading.

By contrast, true love can’t fade or stop. True love is unconditional and can exist only when you feel complete in yourself. True love manifests from this experience of oneness. Loving others means loving yourself: accepting your failings, inadequacies, or needs and no longer requiring someone else to complete them. True love means you may dislike people’s behavior or not agree with their actions but it will not affect the love and compassion that you experience towards them.

When you look back at your love relationships that failed, with people that you thought you loved intensely, you may be puzzled that you don’t anymore. The more you feel you loved them then, the more likely it is, now, that you actually feel resentment or hate towards them.

If this happens, then you should know you never loved them from the beginning. You were simply involved in the business of love.

When you look back at your life, can you say that you ever truly loved? Unconditionally and without needs?

Prana Yoga College

www.pranayogacollege.com

This is shakti’s response to a question from a student regarding shoulder stand. shakti’s response is in italics and bold below.

There is no one way to live life, to become realized or to teach shoulder stand. The more we rely on gadgets in life and in yoga, the more we limit our practice.

Question from student:

The class of May 2006 have all been corresponding together as a group and one of the subjects we have been discussing is shoulder stand. Many of us have been finding students are taught to put the blanket only under the shoulders and argue that this puts less pressure on their necks.

You can modify the pressure on the neck by simply moving the pelvis away from the head and lowering the legs towards 45 degree until it feels comfortable. I guess an Anusara course Janice went to taught it like this and explained that putting the blanket under the neck made it to flat not keeping the natural curve in the neck.

shakti’s response:

The asanas evolved around the natural skeletal structure. The neck curve hasn’t changed in the last million years. Can you imagine the ancient yogi wandering naked and living in a cave always holding a towel in his hand in case he had to do salamba sarvangasana (shoulder stand)?

I have been confused on the issue as have many of the other students from class.

Not that the blanket is the source for all of your confusion; it’s the mind’s need to have a black and white answer, to posses the ultimate and only truth about the subject.

Fortunately, neither I nor anyone in existence is holding the absolute answer for yes or no blanket under the neck or what is the aim of life. That’s what makes life such a lovely dance. Next time you are confused about how to teach an asana get on the floor, play with the options and make sense of it to yourself. And even then do not hold on it as the absolute principle as you never know what the next moment will bring. Learn as much as you feel you need but always keep your hands empty as the absolute way of doing things is unfolded in each moment. If you would like to live life authentically you will need to start knowing for yourself.